JULY ISSUE “ Whatever happened to F4y_Wr4y, that delicate pixelated frame? This post marks the first issue of our new monthly column which will feature the ill-fated former members of our agency, to serve as a reminder that any such misdemeanor will not be tolerated and will be sanctioned accordingly. Let these cautionary tales be a testament of our operational legal regime, which maintains the wholesome and safe working environment that is the Habbo Defence Agency. Where there is unity and victory, I give you your first glass of cold, sweet and partly declassified tea. Fired Member No. 1 is a veteran troll in base, boasting a whopping seven different fired member accounts which he used over time, with an obvious UsernamePattern. Just like his distinctly structured usernames, his misdemeanors show a simplified pattern of denying promotions, idling repeatedly at FTF and standing in the hall. The unbecoming of this troll is brought about by a rookie slip-up after targeting the wrong person with the right friends. He recently came back with his disorganized team of clones in the new base with a pitiful attempt to intimidate, however, it seems that The Volunteers lost this match. Fired Member No. 2 has been fired three times, earning himself a nice permanent ban. This former member has a shining reputation of asking every possible target in the vicinity for pets and coins. Though far less harmful than Fired Member No. 1, he is notorious for idling on stations, all the while doing twice the allotted workload in two separate accounts until he was ultimately caught. Weeks after getting fired, he came back to HDA with a new account whose username is an apparent spin-off of his old one. Refusing to confess until the end, he claims that the “old account” belonged to his brother. Our team got creative dealing with him by fighting fire with a parody of his brand of fire, taunting him with a fake troll account that is a caricature of him. Lost in the befuddlement of arguing with the team’s fake troll account, he made it evident that he is exactly who we suspected him to be, finally wrapping up the case once and for all.
Fired Member No. 4 is a classic double jobbing case who used a clever trick of making his usernames in both accounts appear almost indistinguishable by taking advantage of the subtle Habbo font differences between the capitalized ‘I’ and the lower case ‘l’. This fired member made an argument of his innocence until the end, taunting the team who apprehended him with an ersatz quasi-intellectual high ground. He was relentless in his act of faultlessness and comically turned to insulting the team’s basic cognitive functions. Nevertheless, his vain efforts to gaslight the said team were ultimately unfruitful. That's all for our first periodical of declassified tea. Bottom’s up written by Frankette
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March 2022
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